LOVERS AND FRIENDS

For all the married couples out there, you might not have married your best friend, but it's never too late to make your "Husband/Wife" your best friend
Have you ever notice how long and boring a trip or a walk might seem when you're taking it on your own or walking with strangers? Compare it to how short, interesting and pleasant the same trip can be when taking with friends?
Marriage is no different. It's a journey of a life time and trust me you don't want to be making that journey with acquaintances or strangers. To get the best experience, you need to be making that journey with your friend- Spouse- Husband- Soul mate
The place of Friendship in your marital relationship is so important and it must not be under-estimated because when the butterflies in your belly have stopped fluttering, and the flame of passion has fizzled out, your friendship is perpetual.
There are times when you might not feel so in love with your partner, but you can count on your friendship still.
Being friends, best friends with your spouse, is priceless.
---> A friend is a confidant who you can pour your heart to without fear of judgment
---> A friend is someone who sees the best and the worst in you, yet he/she stays
----> A friends has your back even when the world is against you
---> A friend shares your pain, joy, high moments and low moments
Friendship with your spouse requires an important ingredient "TIME"
Don't be too busy for your partner or your marriage.
Spend time together because only then will you discover more about each other
Whatever or Whoever you spend time with is reflection of what's important to you.
Love without friendship can be empty, but love between friends is priceless.

Eyitemi TheHomeBuilder

BBM:2B2D2806

Twitter:@homebuilders012

Blog:www.eyitemithehomebuilder.blogspot.com

Email:homebuilderssn@gmail.com

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THE SHADE OF A GOOD UNION

While sitting under a big tree one sunny afternoon to take shade from the vengeful heat of the scorching sun, I became inspired to write this post.

Despite the weather situation, being under this big tree made me feel differently. Yes I was not oblivious of the scorching heat, but I was not a victim of its vengeful heat either. Being under this tree made a difference and there was no way I was leaving there until I was ready to leave.

The same should be said of our marriages. Marriage is supposed to be a shade, provide protection and shield you from the harsh conditions of the society.

Your marriage is supposed to be that place you run to and feel safe when pressure begins to mount from the society

Your marriage is supposed to be a reliable safe zone when insecurities abound.

Just like the tree, it does not change what is going on outside, but it shields you, keeps you safe and protected.

If your marriage is like this, then you can be sure that when you come home to your spouse and kids, you're bound to feel relaxed and comfortable regardless of how bad your day had been

Often times when you see people who are not eager or who do not long to go home to their spouse and kids, it either of two things;

----> it's either they feel safer in where they are or they have some other safe zone, asides their home, marriage & spouse.

Wives especially need to consciously make sure their home/ marriage is a safe zone for every member of the family.

Make it a place they long to be in and are reluctant to leave; and I'm not just talking about the interior decoration alone.

As home builders we have been charged with the responsibility of making the best out of our homes and marriages.

>Understand and strive to meet the needs of your family members

>Don't be too temperamental or judgmental

>Give room for your spouse and children to fail because only then will they be inspired to try again until success becomes a reality

>learn to use the right words to nurture, heal and correct when necessary

The list is endless but the general idea is to make sure you do what is needed to make your marriage a safe zone

One more salient and important ingredient needed to make your marriage a safe zone is to have a healthy relationship with your spouse. The union of you both is what resulted into a marriage and it takes both of you to grow and nurture your relationship.

The dividend of a good marriage goes beyond the man and his wife. Just like the big tree I sat under which shaded not just myself but every one who sought protection from the sun's venting; so will your children, great grandchildren, friends, loved ones and even strangers benefit from the umbrella your successful union.

Keep building

Eyitemi TheHomeBuilder

BBM:2B2D2806

Twitter:@homebuilders012

Blog:www.eyitemithehomebuilder.blogspot.com

Email:homebuilderssn@gmail.com

Instagram: eyitemithehomebuilder

 

Google +: Eyitemi Adebowale

FAITHFULNESS BEFORE I DO

1. It's great to be here with everyone this evening #StasWeek

2. I'm trusting God for opened eyes & opened minds and ready hearts #StasWeek

3. When you here the word " Faithful" especially as it borders on relationships, what's the 1st thing that comes to mind ? #Stasweek

4. Some think fidelity, cheating, extra marital affairs and most importantly you get the idea it's an issues for married folks #StasWeek

5. How often have you ever thought that "faithfulness" could be a subject of concern for you as a single? #StasWeek

6. Probably very few times or never #StasWeek

7. Contrary to what you might think or assume, faithfulness is not a things for married couples only #StasWeek

8. Faithfulness starts long before marriage. It's a mind set, a learned habit and a way of life. #StasWeek

9. Faithfulness is not some random spirit that drops on you once you get married. #StasWeek

10. Faithfulness, true faithfulness is the life you live, and who you are long before say "I DO" #StasWeek

11. Faithfulness is not just about whether you have pre-marital sex, it's the total package. #StasWeek

12. Faithfulness is of the heart & mind. It is what guarantees purity . #StasWeek

13. Faithfulness is a lifestly which requires a conscious effort, constant evaluation and accountability #StasWeek

14. Some people are of the opinion that the reason they can't stay faithful is because they have not met right person #StasWeek

15. Apologies, but allow me break your bubble by saying this: that is a lie from the pit of hell #StasWeek

16. Faithfulness is about the way you lived and you are living before you meet your life partner #StasWeek

17. Imagine your future partner had access to the candid camera of your life right now, do you think he'll be proud? #StasWeek

18. Would he/she be eager to spend the rest of their lives with you, or would they rather be celibate than marry you? #StasWeek

19. Think about that for a moment? #StasWeek

20: Faithfulness as a single lady, is about those little things you do on a daily bases which honour your future partner #StasWeek

21. Faithfulness as a single man/ lady is leaving a life that honours your future partner #StasWeek

22. Faithfulnessmeans living to love and honour your future husband all the days of your life. #StasWeek

23. Faithfulness before I DO means that you honour your future spouse with #StasWeek (1/2)

24. Your tots, actions, words ,emotion an your body (2/2). #StasWeek

25. I need to understand me here, because this is a new dimension to faithfulness. #StasWeek

26. Some people think Purity is not Possible in today's world, but I believe we are focusing on the wrong things #StasWeek

27. If we focus on faithfulness, purity will come naturally. The two go side by side #StasWeek

28. A single Man/ woman who goes into marriage without understanding the concept of faithfulness (1/2) #StasWeek

29. Is disaster waiting to happen (2/2) #StasWeek

30. Faithfulness is like an oak tree that patiently endured the torrid winds and rains, (1/2) #StasWeek

31. Only to become stronger and solid as a result. #StasWeek

32. God is a rewarder of every form of faithfulness #StasWeek

33. He rewarded Ruth with Her Boaz because of her faithfulness; even though the world thought she was stupid #StasWeek

34. He is still the same God, he never changes. He will all also reward your faithfulness and non-conformity #StasWeek

35. Faithfulness is what unlocks the secret to the kind of love you have been looking for. #StasWeek

FAITHFULNESS BEFORE I DO

1. It's great to be here with everyone this evening #StasWeek

2. I'm trusting God for opened eyes & opened minds and ready hearts #StasWeek

3. When you here the word " Faithful" especially as it borders on relationships, what's the 1st thing that comes to mind ? #Stasweek

4. Some think fidelity, cheating, extra marital affairs and most importantly you get the idea it's an issues for married folks #StasWeek

5. How often have you ever thought that "faithfulness" could be a subject of concern for you as a single? #StasWeek

6. Probably very few times or never #StasWeek

7. Contrary to what you might think or assume, faithfulness is not a things for married couples only #StasWeek

8. Faithfulness starts long before marriage. It's a mind set, a learned habit and a way of life. #StasWeek

9. Faithfulness is not some random spirit that drops on you once you get married. #StasWeek

10. Faithfulness, true faithfulness is the life you live, and who you are long before say "I DO" #StasWeek

11. Faithfulness is not just about whether you have pre-marital sex, it's the total package. #StasWeek

12. Faithfulness is of the heart & mind. It is what guarantees purity . #StasWeek

13. Faithfulness is a lifestly which requires a conscious effort, constant evaluation and accountability #StasWeek

14. Some people are of the opinion that the reason they can't stay faithful is because they have not met right person #StasWeek

15. Apologies, but allow me break your bubble by saying this: that is a lie from the pit of hell #StasWeek

16. Faithfulness is about the way you lived and you are living before you meet your life partner #StasWeek

17. Imagine your future partner had access to the candid camera of your life right now, do you think he'll be proud? #StasWeek

18. Would he/she be eager to spend the rest of their lives with you, or would they rather be celibate than marry you? #StasWeek

19. Think about that for a moment? #StasWeek

20: Faithfulness as a single lady, is about those little things you do on a daily bases which honour your future partner #StasWeek

21. Faithfulness as a single man/ lady is leaving a life that honours your future partner #StasWeek

22. Faithfulnessmeans living to love and honour your future husband all the days of your life. #StasWeek

23. Faithfulness before I DO means that you honour your future spouse with #StasWeek (1/2)

24. Your tots, actions, words ,emotion an your body (2/2). #StasWeek

25. I need to understand me here, because this is a new dimension to faithfulness. #StasWeek

26. Some people think Purity is not Possible in today's world, but I believe we are focusing on the wrong things #StasWeek

27. If we focus on faithfulness, purity will come naturally. The two go side by side #StasWeek

28. A single Man/ woman who goes into marriage without understanding the concept of faithfulness (1/2) #StasWeek

29. Is disaster waiting to happen (2/2) #StasWeek

30. Faithfulness is like an oak tree that patiently endured the torrid winds and rains, (1/2) #StasWeek

31. Only to become stronger and solid as a result. #StasWeek

32. God is a rewarder of every form of faithfulness #StasWeek

33. He rewarded Ruth with Her Boaz because of her faithfulness; even though the world thought she was stupid #StasWeek

34. He is still the same God, he never changes. He will all also reward your faithfulness and non-conformity #StasWeek

35. Faithfulness is what unlocks the secret to the kind of love you have been looking for. #StasWeek

LEAVE THE PAST BEHIND

If there's anything true about life, it's the fact that nobody can move forward while looking backwards.

Regardless of whatever our domain or specialty in life, moving forward brings about satisfaction to the human race.

Contrary to what you might have seen, heard or experience, marriage is a beautiful thing. It is even more beautiful if it enjoys an upwardly mobile motion.

In so many marriages, individuals come together with so much baggage and weight that it pulls down on their relationships with their spouses. Too often we hold on to the wrong things and we end up holding back the opportunity to enjoy a blissful relationship.

One of the major principles of marriage as stated in the book of Creation (Genesis 2:24) is the" Leave and Cleave "principle.

Many marriages are going downhill because one or both couples have failed to "Leave" and and wandering why they can't " Cleave".

There's so much to leave behind, if you want your marriage to enjoy that much desired upward motion.

1. YOUR PAST: There no doubt that everyone including myself has a past that we are not too proud of, but failure to let go can be catastrophic. Your past existed for a reason, it tells a story of where you are coming from, but it cannot define who you are unless you let it. Recognize where you are now especially as it relates to your marriages, and live in the now.

Whether it was an event, something that happened to you or someone you know, in your past, as long as it stands in the way of letting your marriage be all that it can be, leave it all behind

I once heard the story of a newly married lady who could not let go of her single days, habit and friends. She barely cooked @ home for her new husband, she was more interested in visiting the movies, buying take outs and partying.

While there's nothing wrong in wanting to relax and entertain yourself once in a while, this young lady failed to understand, and accept her new role and life as a wife.

Don't get stuck in your past, because you'll be dragging your partner and marriage @ large back.

2. YOUR FRIENDS & FAMILY:
Don't get me wrong on this. I'm not asking that you alienate yourself from your loved ones, I'm asking that you know where to draw the line. Your parents marriage and that of your friends are different from yours- it's important you know this.

Your number one loyalty should be to your spouse and you should flee from anyone who seeks to contest that . Now that your married, live your married live in that consciousness

3. PAST ISSUES: One of the things I used to do very early in my marriage was to constantly refer to my husband's past failures. While that made be win the battle, little did I know that I was loosing the war on my marriage. Your spouse will most certainly hurt you, and not only must you be quick to forgive, you must forget it, let it go, and try not to make further references to it. No matter how tempting it may seem.

Living in the past hinders growth, brings about regrets, stagnation and lots of heart ache. Don't dwell on it, learn from it and move on

Eyitemi The HomeBuilder

BBM:2B2D2806

Twitter:@homebuilders012

Blog :www.eyitemithehomebuilder.blogspot.com
Email:homebuilderssn@gmail.com
Instagram: eyitemithehomebuilder

Google +: Eyitemi Adebowale

THE JOURNEY'S MAP

The journey of a thousand miles, they say starts with a step, but this step is not readily taken when you don't know which direction you are headed
Your marriage with your spouse is a journey you have both chosen to embark on ;and like every other journey, you're bound to arrive @ a cross road .It's called a cross road because you're faced with so many options and you need to decide upon which path to tread.
A cross road is very normal but what wears most people out is the uncertainty associated with the path you decide to take. In marriage to be specific, you enter into a cross road when challenges arise and you're trying to figure out a solution.
It's even more overwhelming when you are burdened with the responsibility of making these decisions alone- which is what happens in so many unions
Marriage is a walk of togetherness and when you arrive at these cross roads, you need to be able to decide together as a single unit on how to proceed. Because marriageis not one person's responsibility, attempting to carry it all by yourself will wear you out quickly.

By now I know you're asking "what if your partner is not as willing"? I'll say that is another cross- road, and you'll need to turn to someone bigger for partnership- God. Whether you're together or alone, once you encounter situations beyond your capabilities, turn to the cross.
Based on my conversation with a lot of women, it feels as though most of them are in the marriage walk alone. ( @ least that's how they feel) especially when the cross road is their spouse. Whether you feel as if you're the only one interested in making you marriage work, or you feel like your husband no longer loves you as he used to, let me assure youthat you're never alone. Don't blindly select a course of action without being certainbecause the outcome might be disastrous.. "How can you be certain" you might ask
Incase you've forgotten, let me remind you that God is the curator of marriage and if you're ever unsure on which path to take on your cross-road, turn to him because He alone has the MAP.

You don't have the MAP, Hollywood does not have the MAP your family and friends do not have the MAP, but God does. There's nothing happening to you or in you marriage that has not happened to another; yet they came out as winners. So encourage yourself wives, turn to God in prayers and trust him to lead you in the best path- as a matter of fact, he is more that willing to walk down the path with you if you would allow him.

During my quiet time this morning, I was reminded of Roman 12:2 "do not conform to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind......"don't try to do things using your own strength or wisdom, because in most cases it only worsens the situation. There's a God way to doing things and that way is God's MAP/BLUE-PRINT for our marriage.

It might sound akage but In God's MAP( word) he has provided directions on how to deal with certain cross roads. If the challenge is with your husband, permit me to say from experience that force, nagging or crying will not necessarily change the situation.

The book of 1Peter 3:1-2 explains that if there's a change you want to see in your husband or marriage, then that change has to start with you. Only then can you model that change for your husband to observe and be influenced.
Pay back does not do any good in marriage, it only further destroys it. If there's something you want to see, be that change, and be patient for the holyspirit to work.

There's a solution to every problem. Cross Roads are meant to be conquered but you need the right disposition and God MAP. Don't take any other MAP provided by the movies, your cosmopolitan magazine, or the social network because not only will you be going in the wrong direction, you might get lost without the option of a do over.

Please note that in the case of an abuse, it's best to get to safety first while working on a resolution.

Eyitemi The HomeBuilder

BBM:2B2D2806

Twitter:@homebuilders012

Blog:www.eyitemithehomebuilder.blogspot.com

LOVE , LIKE & THE TRUTH

Reading through an article recently, my eye caught the news of a 12yr old girl and 13 years old boy who just had a baby.
Immediately, a barage of questions entered into my mind;

Did they really have sex @ that age?

Have they already attained the age of puberty?

How much did they know about parenting. ( they are barely children themselves)

Her dad who was in prison said he was proud of her;

Her mum was celebrating being the world's youngest grandmother,

And finally the most disturbing statement I read was that the next generation might grow up having partners and having kids with them, without getting married

It's obvious that in this generation we have a lot of things confused and if people don't start talking, we will end up in so much chaos and later begin to wonder how we got there.

Young people are confused about who they are, confused about their sexuality, confused about the dynamics of a relationship, confused about marriage and the world @ large.

With all these confusion, and the main stream media not helping, we are gradually going down a path our society might find it difficult to recover from.

Lust, likeness and love have all be muddled up & relationships wrongly defined leaving people broken and twisted.

A wise man once said that if "purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable"

Apparently a lot of people don't know the purpose of relationships/ marriage, so they end up abusing it.
Or tell me, if they did understand, how does a 12yr old girl end up becoming a mother?

For some people, relationship is an opportunity to bury their loneliness, build their world around another, or derive their identity form such a relationship.

This identity crises is what has twisted the way people think.

Relationship is not a call to flex or show your sexual prowess.

 Relationships ought to be mutually beneficial; not parasitic, nor exploitative.

Marriage asides the procreation mandate, is for companionship & partnership.
Don't get involved in this institution if you don't understand the dynamics.

A lot of the challenges in society today is wrought by dysfunctional individuals, who are products of a fracture home, marriages & relationships.

You are who you are, and it's not dependent on your relationships

Understand that there's a difference between like, love and lust.
When someone uses you to only meet and satisfy their desires, it's not love, it's lust.
Liking someone is not automatically equal to loving the person.
Love requires commitment,
Love demands sacrifice,
Love seeks the best interest of the other party,
And remember that sex does not equate love
In brevity, Lust, Like, & Love all have emotions, and if you ever want to know if love is somewhere in the midst of hemotion you are feeling for someone, ask your self the following;

1. Are you willing to be committed to this person
2. Are you willing to make sacrifies for this person
3. Do you constantly seek the best interest for this person
4. Would you still feel the same way if Sex wasn't in the equation
5. Would it matter if this person doesn't feel the same way about you?

Though tough, these questions are likely to help you clear the air as to what you're feeling for someone @ any point in time.
This list is not exhaustive, and love is not some subject you can examine in a lab, but to a large extent, after being married for almost a decade, these sieve tests can come in handy.

Eyitemi The HomeBuilder

BBM:2B2D2806

Twitter:@homebuilders012

Blog:www.eyitemithehomebuilder.blogspot.com

Email: homebuilderssn@gmail.com

Instagram: eyitemithehomebuilder

Google +: Eyitemi Adebowale