LESSONS FROM THE WOMAN AT THE WELL: REBECCA (FOR SINGLES) GEN24

LESSONS FROM THE WOMAN AT THE WELL :REBECCA (FOR SINGLES) Gen 24 As much as civilization has changed our world & the way we live ,some things will always  remain. When it comes to love, romance and marriage men & women  have always wanted the same thing.  Every man desires a woman who is decent, beautiful, hardworking, committed and every good virtue you can Imagine; while every single lady desires to be found by some "Prince Charming " These were the same desires women the bible days wanted and Rebecca was no exception. The point here is that of all the women who came out that evening to draw water from the well, Only one was chosen.....Let's find out why : LESSON 1: She was SELF DISCIPLINED & RESPONSIBLE ; History has it that Rebecca was born into nobility. Her father Bethuel was the ruler of Aram Naharam. So her father must have had a number of handmaidens who were available to carry out the chores.All the same, Bible records that when it was evening, the time all the young ladies came out to fetch water, Rebecca was among them. This young lady did not seat at home to look pretty while the servants did all the work, she knew the essence of training herself & preparing herself for the future.  I'm certain it was not only fetching Rebecca did, she must have done some cooking, washing & cleaning around the house. This is where most young ladies miss it. I've heard some ladies say few months before their wedding, they would take a crash course in cooking and I wonder how well they will fare. Just like Rebecca, you cannot tell exactly when your Isaac will come knocking for you and how terrible will it be if you're not ready. It doesn't matter what your background is or who your father is, get of your high horse and discipline yourself. Instill values that will be beneficial to you in the future. Imagine if Rebecca had sat back at home that evening, she would have missed out on Isaac and history. Marriage requires a lot and the earlier you start preparing, the better. Stop using that pedicure & manicure as an excuse. LESSON 2: She was KIND & EAGER TO HELP : The World is such a funny place today and what you see around is people who care about themselves alone. I know some people have gotten their fingers burnt in the process of trying to help others ; but there's a proverb in Yoruba that says " if we keep our eyes close because something entered into it, we would not know when something or someone good is passing by ". Every time you get the chance  to do something good, consider it an opportunity.  The prayer you should be praying as a single lady is that God should open your eyes to opportunities that would yield positive results. Rebecca did not know Elizer from Adam, neither did he look incapable of getting water for himself & his team (10 other men who travelled with him) yet she responded to him nicely and eagerly when he asked for water. Some ladies are still single because they have not mastered the art of being nice to others and being genuiely selfless & become sensitive to the needs of others. LESSON 3: She had INITIATIVE : I remember as a teenager, if i walked past a piece of litter on the floor or a something that wasn't in the right place, my father would ask me to use my initiative and do the right thing. Initiative in its simplest  term was the ability to do the right thing without begin told. Initiative was what put Rebecca in Elizers radar. Not only was she KIND, COURTEOUS & WILLING TO HELP, initiative told her the Camels must have been exhausted too. When you see something that shouldn't be, dont wait to be told before you do the right thing. Initiative is a sign of maturity and it might be the trait that causes that Prince Charming to notice you. LESSON 4: She was HARDWORKING & HAD STRONG WORK ETHICS. Do have any idea what it means to give water to camels to drink? . I understand that for one camel to be satisfied it would need about 20-30 gallons of water. Now Imagine how much water 10 thirsty camels would have needed. 200 gallons at the very least. Now Imagine Rebecca fetching 200 gallons to satisfy a stranger. It's not like she knew what was on his mind or the kind of woman he was looking for, Rebecca was just being trueto herself. No man wants to marry a lazy woman, not only because she would become a liability to him, what would she teach her children? Lazyness is not an attractive feature& trust me no amount of Mary Kay, Brazillian weavon or body figure can make up for it. The Proverbs 31 woman was refered to as an early riser and higly industrious wife. If you're lazy now that you're single, marriage will not automatically turn you into an hardworking wife. It starts now. LESSON 5: SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL :Genesis 24:15 described her as a beautiful woman & I'm sure you're wondering what beauty has to do since it usually out of your control.  True some women are more Attractive than others, but every woman is beautifully & wonderfully made. There's  a man for every colour, size, shape & height of woman in existence but we must remember that men are visual in nature and all your virtues will not be discovered if you dont look appealing.  Before we heard all about Rebecca's exploit, we were told of how beautiful she was. A lot of women came to that well, but Elizer chose her. Please Ladies, in getting your Isaac, there's a part for God to play & there's a part for you to play. God will not come down to dress you. He has made you beautifully, how you present yourself is your choice. , LESSON 6: SHE HAD DEVOTION TO HER UNSEEN HUSBAND & FAITH IN GOD'S PLAN FOR HER LIFE. After Elizer had delivered his message, he wanted to leave with Rebecca the next day but her family wanted her to stay for a few more days. Eventually Rebecca was asked to make a choice and she chose to leave. For me I was wowed. She had no idea who this Isaac was, neither did she know if he would love her, if she would love him of whether they would be compatible. She only knew one thing.  The marriage had been agreed upon, Isaac was now her husband and her devotion & loyalty must be to him. I know the situation is different these days and you might be wondering just how can you show devotion your future husband? It's in your everyday life- you show devotion to your future husband by keeping yourself, watch what you do, how you dress, talk & people you associate with. Ask yourself in every situation, if your future husband were to see you now, would he be proud of who you are, your actions?  If would he be ashamed. These days I've heard stories of young men who go on the internet to conduct a cyber search on ladies that interest them. So Imagine if you have gone in some crazy adventure, and the have some nude picture of yourself on the net. Or those crazy pictures of young ladies being circulated on the phone. If your future husband finds out about your past, would he proud?  If the answer is NO,  then watch it. Live each day in devotion to your future hearthrob. LESSON 7: SHE HAD FAITH IN GOD'S PLAN FOR HER LIFE. Nobody can teach you this just like no one taught Rebecca. If its God, you must learn to let go & trust. This is a lesson all women (single or married)  must learn to embrace. As a single lady, you must trust in God's plan for a suitable partner, don't try to manipulate a man into being your husband,  trust God & allow things unfold. Faith in God is the ultimate because God wont let you down. Eyitemi Adebowale is an author, public speaker and a relationship /marriage coach working with Single Women and Young Wives who are new to the home building process. She is the Founder of HOME BUILDERS INTERNATIONAL whose vision is to build homes one wise woman at a time. She is happily married to Adesoji Adebowale and they are blessed with a child. For more of our articles visit www.eyitemithehomebuilder.blogspot.com and register your email address to receive our updates in your box For questions, enquiries, or comments, send a mail to homebuilderssn@gmail.com You can also follow on twitter @homebuilders12 ……..building homes one wise woman at a time

LESSONS FROM THE WELL FOR THE SINGLE & MARRIED WOMAN

LESSONS FROM THE WELL FOR THE SINGLE & MARRIED WOMAN Back in the days, especially in the middle east, WELLS were one of the most valuable asset an individual could posses that point in time; due to the scarcity of water prevalent in that region. This explains why Abraham and Isaac constantly had to settle disputes and contentions over their wells. The level of civilization at that time coupled with what the people did for a living (Herding & Agriculture) placed a heavy demand on water. A WELL was an assets and whoever owned one guarded it jealously. In the book of proverbs 5:15-20, a wife was likened to a WELL or FOUNTAIN OF WATER. The common word there being water; it was like the life force of everything that existed. I believe there are a lot of lessons we as women could learn from this “OLD WISE WELL” whether we are single or married. 3 LESSONS FROM THE WELL WATERED WELL 1.PRIVATE PROPERTY: The moment you get married, you belong to your husband alone and nobody else. Of course I know women are not some commodity to be bought and used to adorn the house, but I have used the term Private Property so it can easily be related to. A number of new brides struggle with this reality; as they tend to hold on to some of the ways they used to do things prior to I DO. I for example struggled with the idea of not being able to make my decisions independently as I used to before I got married. My husband expected that before I made any major decision whether it’s about my personal life or it concerns the both of us, we must have talked about it and agreed on the course of action to be taken. For some other women it’s their inability to manage their relationships with old friends and make time for their new husbands. Marriage is not a call to confinement or imprisonment, as some people put it. Marriage is a big deal; (Contrary to what the media wants us to believe`) it’s a covenant relationship between a man and a woman with God as the witness, the binding force and at the centre of it. Marriage should be respected. Your way of life, actions, appearance, and the words of your mouth should be a reflection of modesty, a sense of ownership to yours truly. There are public wells and there are private wells. In the Bible days, men fought over the ownership of these WELLS, (Gen 26:14-22), firstly because of what it’s worth and secondly because Public Wells had little or nothing to offer. I sometimes here single ladies say things like: I prefer being friends with boys, they are so much easier to get along with” If that is you, I guarantee you that your husband will not understand that ENGLISH of yours once you say I DO. Like I said once you get married, you belong to your husband, act like it. 2.A CALL TO SERVICE: I honestly do not think a WELL would be worth anything if it fails to provide water. The water from the well serves as a source of GROWTH, SUSTANANCE & NOURISHMENT. If what lies within you does not help your husband or your family, then you no better than a dry, polluted and abandoned well. Although the water that comes from the well is visible & tangible, the water from you as a wife is whatever essence or virtue you possesses which becomes a plus to your family. I could be your trading skills which leads to additional income for your family, it could be your homemaking skills which simplifies the life of everyone around you, it could your cooking skills which makes your entire households to come running home every evening. There must be something within you (water) that you use to serve and meet your family’s needs. MARRIAGE IS A CALL TO SERVICE 3.STAY CONNECTED TO SOURCE: No matter how privatized a well is, or how many people it serves, it will soon go dry if it’s not connected to source. As a woman (married or single) you must recognize the place of God as the giver of all inspiration. Dwelling daily on the word of God will keep you clean from every pollution, debris or dirt and help you stay fresh and relevant. The bottom line is that is that if you see yourself as a well, you will realize that your value comes from your content. i.e. what you have to offer; so the thoughts I leave you with is to ask yourself. “What kind of well are you and what kind of water do you have to offer?” ************************************************************************ Eyitemi Adebowale is an author, public speaker and a relationship /marriage coach working with Single Women and Young Wives who are new to the home building process. She is the Founder of HOME BUILDERS INTERNATIONAL whose vision is to build homes one wise woman at a time. She is happily married to Adesoji Adebowale and they are blessed with a child. For more of our articles visit www.eyitemithehomebuilder.blogspot.com and register your email address to receive our updates in your box For questions, enquiries, or comments, send a mail to homebuilderssn@gmail.com You can also follow on twitter @homebuilders12 ……..building homes one wise woman at a time

WHEN HE DOESN'T MEASURE UP

WHEN HE DOESN'T MEASURE UP...... Recently, I've had to be reminded about our humane nature, the mortality of each one of us & most importantly the vulnerability of man; this is the feeling you get when you're suddenly dissapointed or a much anticipated desire falls short. Prior to marriage a lot of young women are filled with dreams & anticipation of what their ideal or dream marriage would look like; but these expectations are soon met with reality- -The reality that no one is perfect, -The reality that you should not have depended or trusted so much in man -The reality that God is the only one who can fufill all your expectations without letting you down It happens in everyday life & our marriages are no exceptions. I'm not saying you should not have expectations of your husbands; for example; -you expect your husband to love you, -you expect him to be faithful to you, -you expect him to fulfill his leadership roles in your marriage & your home -You expect him to be there for your children ..... The list is varied & endless for every woman, marriage & home. But you must remember that your husband is only human & there WILL be times he won't measure up or live up to expectations ; just as You & I as Wives have failed to live it up @ some point in time. I've realized especially from experience that on the average we set expectations based on people's strenght & personalities. For example its easy to put an honest man or a man with intergrity in charge of Money because you expect him not to steal; same thing applies in your marriage . Psalm 20:7-8" some trust in chariots & some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. They are brought to their knees & they fall, but we rise & stand firm " So the next time you experience a big let down in your marriage, take it as a subtle reminder from God telling you to trust him instead. The whole idea is to rely on The Spirit of God to work through your spouse & make up for those places where he might fall short. Zer 4:6 "its not by power or by  might, but by His Spirit. When your partner does not measure up; it's not a time to burst into a fury  of anger, -When your partner does not measure up; it's not a time to apportion blames & make him realize how incapable he is -When your partner does not measure up; it's not a time to shout it on the rooftops -When your partner does not measure up; it's not a time to hold on to malicious grudges -When your partner does not measure up; it's not a time to stop loving......... - It's a time to pray for his weaknesses & They strenght he so much needs -It's a time to love even when you don't feel like it or think he is not deserving of it (That's unconditional) A let down on the  part of your partner is a feed back process that calls for sincere & open dialouge. Your place as a partner or a wife is not to be the first one to castigate him or laugh at him when he falters; neither is is for you judge him. Your job function is to help him stand again. Ecc 4:9 says "2 are better than 1; while verse 10 says "if one falls down ;his friend can help him up " The Bible recognises there will be times we fall, times when our strenght fails us, but things will be a lot easier when there's a friend to help us up. This is the core of my message; WHEN YOUR PARTNER DOESN'T MEASURE UP; MAKE SURE YOU'RE THAT WIFE (FRIEND) WHO HELPS HIM UP(Ecc 4:9-12); NOT ONE THAT DIGS HIS GRAVE...... ®HOME BUILDERS INTERNATIONAL  2012 .........Building homes one wise woman at a time To receive daily updates from our blog, visit www.eyitemithehomebuilder.blogspot.com OR Follow me on twitter @homebuilders012 You can also send your questions, enquiry and comments to homebuilders@gmail.com -