AFTER THE STORM

Dear Friend, SURVIVING THE STORM The word storm in the context of Marriage refers to the challenges or crises that rock marriages.; ranging from infidelity, lack of forgiveness, lack of trust, little or no communication, and everything that can put a strain on the relationship between couples. I have had the privilege of hearing from couples and personally exprienced what it feels like to go through a storm in Marriage. Because these challenges are inevitable, I'll like to share a few ways we can manage & survive the storm as a couple. The first thing to remember when a storm or challenge rises up in your Marriage is that #. DON'T STOP MOVING: While going to work earlier in the week, it began to rain and it was quite heavy.I was already concerned and thoughts of the rain beating me when i alighted from the vehicle made me concerned. Not long after as we moved ahead, we suddenly arrived at a place that was so dry. It was amazing to me & my Friend that this location did not experience any rainfall despite the proxmity in the areas. It was an eye opener for me because while in the rain It did not cross my mind that it could be really dry at the next busstop. My point is this : when the storm comes, " KEEP MOVING ". Don't put your whole life on hold because of the challenge. The longer you stay on a spot, the longer you remain in the rain. Don't stop praying, don't stop communicating, don't stop trying, don't stop loving.......... because ; that takes me to the next point ; #. IT'S A PHASE THAT WILL PASS : Just like every product as a shelf life & expiry dates; challenges are not any different. The key to pulling through when the storm comes is to remember that everything that has a beginning must have an end. Like Steven Covey said in his book "7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE " , we must learn to start with the end in mind. Convetionally when couples go through their rough phases, they attack each other Like it's the end; forgetting that they still have to relate with this person once the storm calms down. When we bear in mind that the storm will pass, we are better guided in our thoughts, words & action. So that we don't leave a scar....... #. PARTNER & DEPEND ON EACH OTHER : Although the challenges in each relationship or marriage differs, One thing that will always see you both through is your ability to work as a team. Imagine a scenario where a team of two (constantly in disagreement) drive through a blizzard and one where a team of two ( working together) drives through the same blizzard. Who has a better chance of making it through? ..... Of course the team of two working together. To survive that drive without a crash, it's not the time to worry about who is at fault, or who put the relationship in this mess; it's a time to see how you can make it out in one piece. The most common mistake couples make in times like this is that they work against each other ; instead of working together against the situation. When there's a storm you need combined effort to pull through. #. ATTITUDE, PERCEPTION, & RESPONSE : These are the major deal breakers or makers. It's not enough to survive the storm ; the important question is "do you survive as an individual or as a couple? Because your attitude, perception or response decides that. Sometimes it might make you feel or look stupid if you choose to maintain the right attitude or manage your response ; what counts is that it's in the best interest of your marriage. #. LEARN A LESSON : Everything you went through will be for nothing if you both failed to learn a lesson. What did that storm teach you both? What would you do differently from now on? As a couple don't ever walk away from those experiences without talking about what it has opened your eyes to. It helps in giving that aspect of your life closure. There are so many other ways to survive a storm ; but I'm positive you can't go wrong with the points above. Finally & most importantly "PRAY ALWAYS". Sometimes all we need is a little wisdom from God, insight from the Holy Spirit & Grace to preserve. We can only get them in the place of prayer. Eyitemi The Home Builder @ Home Builders our goal is to prepare, preserve & build homes. Helping you be the best you're created to be in your relationship. Email : homebuilderssn@gmail.com Twitter: @temmynikan or @homebuilders12 Website: www.eyitemithehomebuilder.blogspot.com Listen to our broadcast : www.soundcloud.com/eyitemi-adebowale FB Group : Home Builders Resource Centre. Telephone : 08151753592

7 SIGNS HE IS NOT READY FOR COMMITMENT

7 SIGNS HE IS NOT READY TO COMMIT. # 1. HE WOULD MEET YOU ANYWHERE ASIDES YOUR HOME OR HIS HOME ; Beware of men like this and trust your intuitions when dealing with them. There's a time to hangout and there's a time to get serious. if the only place both if you meet or spend time together is at the eatries, beach, movies or wherever, then it can only mean one, two or three of this reasons. * he is not serious about your relationship * he is lying to you * he is hiding something from you. Either way, its something to be worried about especially if you are thinking long term. m# 2. HE INTRODUCES YOU AS "JUST A FRIEND ": Now there are two sides to this & a thing line divides them. At the onset of a relationship that is what both of you are to each other. As the relationship matures, it is expected that it becomes defined. If after years of dating he still introduces you "Just a Friend ", it implies that you are nothing more than that to him & he has not started to see a future with you. # 3. HE DOESN'T TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR HIS LIFE OR ACTIONS: it's should disturb you if you're with a man who blames people for everything ;finding it dufficult to accept responsibility. Responsibility is a major sign of maturity & a proof or readiness for the next level. Marriage is not for people who cannot accept the consequences of their actions. Neither is it for those who depend on others for everything. # 4. YOU'RE NOT INCLUDED IN HIS FUTURE PLANS : You can tell a lot from the way a person talks & that includes the man you're in a relationship with. When he talks about the future are you included in those plans? If he's consistently talking about his future & plans for tomorrow without any sign or hint of you, then he might not be ready. # 5. IF HE IS SECRETIVE: A man who doesn't tell you anything about himself or his plans is someone to watch out for. A man you plan on spending the rest of your life with should be able to open up to you or confide in you. If he ends his phone call abruptly simply because you show up or acts sneaky he either has something to hide or does not feel comfortable sharing his info with you. # 6. HE WON'T INTRODUCE YOU TO HIS FAMILY : One of the things that got me comfortable with my husband real quick was his ability to take me to his home & introduce me to his family. Despite the fact that we just met about 2 weeks ago, it made me see him as a responsible adult & made me begin to think long term of our newly found relationship. Not long after wards I was introduced to the family. A man's family says a lot about who he is and where he is coming from; an essential requirement for a serious relationship. If he doesn't introduce you to his family........ he is not serious about you & You're not important to him..... # 7. HE HAS NO JOB : This is a major red light when Marriage talks begin to come up. Although this might be no fault of his, a man needs to have a reasonable & steady source of income. Financial security is not only important to a woman, a man without financial security is an accident waiting to happen. Money makes a man feel in control and the ability to provide for his family is key. If he has no job, he is not financially independent; if he's not financially independent, he has no business getting married. The list is no exhaustive it's your job to read the signs... Eyitemi The Home Builder @ Home Builders our goal is to prepare, preserve & build homes. Helping you be the best you're created to be in your relationship. Email : homebuilderssn@gmail.com Twitter: @temmynikan or @homebuilders012 Website: www.eyitemithehomebuilder.blogspot.com Listen to our broadcast : www.soundcloud.com/eyitemi-adebowale FB Group : Home Builders Resource Centre. Telephone : 08151753592 # To enjoy our daily broadcast, send your email address to our mailbox as stated above. Share this with someone today, be a blessing & add value.

6 TURN OFFS FOR POTENTIAL SUITORS

6 TURN OFFS FOR POTENTIAL SUITORS To all the beautiful ladies out there, in case you're wondering why you can't seem to keep a relationship, listen up; 1. The Loud & Chatty girl: as much as you are a gifted talker or entertainer, you need to be able to draw the line and know how to control yourself. Even though you both play video games and you are more fun than his best buddy, a man still wants a woman who will be a lady on the outside. Don't be the type whose laughter echoes across 4 blocks or gets everyone wondering if that's how you laugh or an hyena is around the corner. When both of you go out, no when to contribute and when to withdraw....... Bottom line... Keep all your drama in check. 2. The Nagger / Whiner: this is an old fact. Whether he is married to you or not, no man can stand a woman who whines or nag about everything. It is a huge turn off for them. If you want have something to say, make your point and end it there.. Don't turn it to chant... Singing it to his ear day and night...... Its your duty to find other creative ways to communicate to him. 3.The girl with no Life: there is nothing as annoying as this. If your every activity, plan or movement is dependent on him, then there is a problem. No man wants a lady who cannot stand on her own. There should be activities you engage in with or without him. The moment he realises that you need to be baby sitted, he will go. 4.The lady with no or little self esteem: this is closely related to point number three. A man wants a woman who is self confident and knows what she wants. You don't need the approval of others to feel good about yourself 5. The Barbie doll: there's no 2 way to define someone like this. She is simply plastic and empty headed. These are ladies who are simply vanity personified. They care so much about how they look on the outside yet they are worth nothing in terms of content. A man wants a woman who can look good and still have something up -there 6. Horrible personal hygiene: this one is a no banker. No amount of good looks, expensive cloths or perfume can conceal dirty or unkempt hygiene. If every time you open your mouth you unleash a world of odour;or something can't stop smelling when people sit close to you; there is trouble. If you find yourself in any of this category its time for a check up.

ARE YOU READY "FOR MARRIAGE

7 SIGNS YOU ARE NOT READY FOR MARRIAGE For most ladies, marriage is something that is kooked forward to with so much expectations. As a matter of fact, we focus so much on the institution that we forget to examine ourselves to determine our readiness. I cant tell you all you need to know about marriage, but I cant definately help you examine yourself to determine your readiness. For the purpose of this article, I will point out 7 signs that tell of a woman who is not ready for Marriage. # 1. You're afraid of starting from scratch; This is a big deal and in most cases the reality of most marriages. If you are under the assumption that your Marriage will pick up from the current status You're on in your parents house, then it's high time you woke up. Marriage is not a Call to poverty, but its a call to the building of a new future. In most cases your partner is just starting in his journey to making something out of his life. @ this stage he requires your partnership, perseverance & courage even in the face of the unknown. If the thought of this scares you, then yo might just not be ready for Marriage. # 2. You have trust issues ; There are so many ladies with this issues. They simply find it difficult to trust people (men especially) . While it's understandable that some of have had negative experiences, it does not change the fact that there are still good men out there. You won't go far in Marriage if you can't learn to trust your mate. Trust is the bedrock of every successfull Marriage. If You're the type who scrutinizes every move, giving interpretation to everything & can't take him for his word then You're not ready. # 3. Your allegiance is to & will always be to your Friends and Family; This is no joke & must be treated with the utmost level of seriousness. I won't mince my words because this is the root cause of most problems in marriages. Your allegiance must be to your husband first after God. You must be ready to forsake all other ties. I'm not saying you should abandon your family, but your loyalty must be FIRST to your husband. If you can't do that, forget Marriage. # 4. You find it difficult to forgive : Forgiveness is key in Marriage because your spouse will most certainly wrong you from time. Now that You're single is the time to cultivate the habit of letting go. If You're the type that they need to invite the elders to beg all the time..........You're on your own O! # 5. You believe in law are witches who should be kept abay; vAs a young lady it was not uncommon to hear my Friends wish or pray their potential inlaws dead. There was & there's still a general believe that inlaws were the undoing of most marriages. Whether it's as a result of what nollywood is showing us or the stories we hear, what I can say is this : if you want to get married, you must be ready to embrace & accept your inlaws. They are an essential part of your to-be husband 's life. # 6. If school or career is your priority: Marriage is an entirely different ball game that will place a lot of demand on you. For your Marriage to work especially as a woman you must be ready to adjust your priorities. Your husband & children must become your Number 1. If your priority is to pursue a career. Then pause those Marriage plans for now because the 2 Don't go hand in hand. # 7. If you can't stop talking about your ex: This is very very very very very annoying. It simply shows that you have not gotten over your ex, you are not ready to move on ,you will always use your ex as a bench mark for your current relationship & of course, you're not a serious person. A lot of factors come into play when it comes to Marriage, and if you exhibit any of these signs or your partner does........ You know what it means. Eyitemi The Home Builder @ Home Builders our goal is to prepare, preserve & build homes. Helping you be the best you're created to be in your relationship. Email : homebuilderssn@gmail.com Twitter: @temmynikan Website: www.eyitemithehomebuilder.blogspot.com Listen to our broadcast : www.soundcloud.com/eyitemi-adebowale FB Group : Home Builders Resource Centre. Telephone : 08167303190

ARE YOU READY "FOR MARRIAGE

7 SIGNS YOU ARE NOT READY FOR MARRIAGE For most ladies, marriage is something that is kooked forward to with so much expectations. As a matter of fact, we focus so much on the institution that we forget to examine ourselves to determine our readiness. I cant tell you all you need to know about marriage, but I cant definately help you examine yourself to determine your readiness. For the purpose of this article, I will point out 7 signs that tell of a woman who is not ready for Marriage. # 1. You're afraid of starting from scratch; This is a big deal and in most cases the reality of most marriages. If you are under the assumption that your Marriage will pick up from the current status You're on in your parents house, then it's high time you woke up. Marriage is not a Call to poverty, but its a call to the building of a new future. In most cases your partner is just starting in his journey to making something out of his life. @ this stage he requires your partnership, perseverance & courage even in the face of the unknown. If the thought of this scares you, then yo might just not be ready for Marriage. # 2. You have trust issues ; There are so many ladies with this issues. They simply find it difficult to trust people (men especially) . While it's understandable that some of have had negative experiences, it does not change the fact that there are still good men out there. You won't go far in Marriage if you can't learn to trust your mate. Trust is the bedrock of every successfull Marriage. If You're the type who scrutinizes every move, giving interpretation to everything & can't take him for his word then You're not ready. # 3. Your allegiance is to & will always be to your Friends and Family; This is no joke & must be treated with the utmost level of seriousness. I won't mince my words because this is the root cause of most problems in marriages. Your allegiance must be to your husband first after God. You must be ready to forsake all other ties. I'm not saying you should abandon your family, but your loyalty must be FIRST to your husband. If you can't do that, forget Marriage. # 4. You find it difficult to forgive : Forgiveness is key in Marriage because your spouse will most certainly wrong you from time. Now that You're single is the time to cultivate the habit of letting go. If You're the type that they need to invite the elders to beg all the time..........You're on your own O! # 5. You believe in law are witches who should be kept abay; vAs a young lady it was not uncommon to hear my Friends wish or pray their potential inlaws dead. There was & there's still a general believe that inlaws were the undoing of most marriages. Whether it's as a result of what nollywood is showing us or the stories we hear, what I can say is this : if you want to get married, you must be ready to embrace & accept your inlaws. They are an essential part of your to-be husband 's life. # 6. If school or career is your priority: Marriage is an entirely different ball game that will place a lot of demand on you. For your Marriage to work especially as a woman you must be ready to adjust your priorities. Your husband & children must become your Number 1. If your priority is to pursue a career. Then pause those Marriage plans for now because the 2 Don't go hand in hand. # 7. If you can't stop talking about your ex: This is very very very very very annoying. It simply shows that you have not gotten over your ex, you are not ready to move on ,you will always use your ex as a bench mark for your current relationship & of course, you're not a serious person. A lot of factors come into play when it comes to Marriage, and if you exhibit any of these signs or your partner does........ You know what it means. Eyitemi The Home Builder @ Home Builders our goal is to prepare, preserve & build homes. Helping you be the best you're created to be in your relationship. Email : homebuilderssn@gmail.com Twitter: @temmynikan Website: www.eyitemithehomebuilder.blogspot.com Listen to our broadcast : www.soundcloud.com/eyitemi-adebowale FB Group : Home Builders Resource Centre. Telephone : 08167303190

ARE YOU READY "FOR MARRIAGE

7 SIGNS YOU ARE NOT READY FOR MARRIAGE For most ladies, marriage is something that is kooked forward to with so much expectations. As a matter of fact, we focus so much on the institution that we forget to examine ourselves to determine our readiness. I cant tell you all you need to know about marriage, but I cant definately help you examine yourself to determine your readiness. For the purpose of this article, I will point out 7 signs that tell of a woman who is not ready for Marriage. # 1. You're afraid of starting from scratch; This is a big deal and in most cases the reality of most marriages. If you are under the assumption that your Marriage will pick up from the current status You're on in your parents house, then it's high time you woke up. Marriage is not a Call to poverty, but its a call to the building of a new future. In most cases your partner is just starting in his journey to making something out of his life. @ this stage he requires your partnership, perseverance & courage even in the face of the unknown. If the thought of this scares you, then yo might just not be ready for Marriage. # 2. You have trust issues ; There are so many ladies with this issues. They simply find it difficult to trust people (men especially) . While it's understandable that some of have had negative experiences, it does not change the fact that there are still good men out there. You won't go far in Marriage if you can't learn to trust your mate. Trust is the bedrock of every successfull Marriage. If You're the type who scrutinizes every move, giving interpretation to everything & can't take him for his word then You're not ready. # 3. Your allegiance is to & will always be to your Friends and Family; This is no joke & must be treated with the utmost level of seriousness. I won't mince my words because this is the root cause of most problems in marriages. Your allegiance must be to your husband first after God. You must be ready to forsake all other ties. I'm not saying you should abandon your family, but your loyalty must be FIRST to your husband. If you can't do that, forget Marriage. # 4. You find it difficult to forgive : Forgiveness is key in Marriage because your spouse will most certainly wrong you from time. Now that You're single is the time to cultivate the habit of letting go. If You're the type that they need to invite the elders to beg all the time..........You're on your own O! # 5. You believe in law are witches who should be kept abay; vAs a young lady it was not uncommon to hear my Friends wish or pray their potential inlaws dead. There was & there's still a general believe that inlaws were the undoing of most marriages. Whether it's as a result of what nollywood is showing us or the stories we hear, what I can say is this : if you want to get married, you must be ready to embrace & accept your inlaws. They are an essential part of your to-be husband 's life. # 6. If school or career is your priority: Marriage is an entirely different ball game that will place a lot of demand on you. For your Marriage to work especially as a woman you must be ready to adjust your priorities. Your husband & children must become your Number 1. If your priority is to pursue a career. Then pause those Marriage plans for now because the 2 Don't go hand in hand. # 7. If you can't stop talking about your ex: This is very very very very very annoying. It simply shows that you have not gotten over your ex, you are not ready to move on ,you will always use your ex as a bench mark for your current relationship & of course, you're not a serious person. A lot of factors come into play when it comes to Marriage, and if you exhibit any of these signs or your partner does........ You know what it means. Eyitemi The Home Builder @ Home Builders our goal is to prepare, preserve & build homes. Helping you be the best you're created to be in your relationship. Email : homebuilderssn@gmail.com Twitter: @temmynikan Website: www.eyitemithehomebuilder.blogspot.com Listen to our broadcast : www.soundcloud.com/eyitemi-adebowale FB Group : Home Builders Resource Centre. Telephone : 08167303190

ARE YOU READY "FOR MARRIAGE

7 SIGNS YOU ARE NOT READY FOR MARRIAGE For most ladies, marriage is something that is kooked forward to with so much expectations. As a matter of fact, we focus so much on the institution that we forget to examine ourselves to determine our readiness. I cant tell you all you need to know about marriage, but I cant definately help you examine yourself to determine your readiness. For the purpose of this article, I will point out 7 signs that tell of a woman who is not ready for Marriage. # 1. You're afraid of starting from scratch; This is a big deal and in most cases the reality of most marriages. If you are under the assumption that your Marriage will pick up from the current status You're on in your parents house, then it's high time you woke up. Marriage is not a Call to poverty, but its a call to the building of a new future. In most cases your partner is just starting in his journey to making something out of his life. @ this stage he requires your partnership, perseverance & courage even in the face of the unknown. If the thought of this scares you, then yo might just not be ready for Marriage. # 2. You have trust issues ; There are so many ladies with this issues. They simply find it difficult to trust people (men especially) . While it's understandable that some of have had negative experiences, it does not change the fact that there are still good men out there. You won't go far in Marriage if you can't learn to trust your mate. Trust is the bedrock of every successfull Marriage. If You're the type who scrutinizes every move, giving interpretation to everything & can't take him for his word then You're not ready. # 3. Your allegiance is to & will always be to your Friends and Family; This is no joke & must be treated with the utmost level of seriousness. I won't mince my words because this is the root cause of most problems in marriages. Your allegiance must be to your husband first after God. You must be ready to forsake all other ties. I'm not saying you should abandon your family, but your loyalty must be FIRST to your husband. If you can't do that, forget Marriage. # 4. You find it difficult to forgive : Forgiveness is key in Marriage because your spouse will most certainly wrong you from time. Now that You're single is the time to cultivate the habit of letting go. If You're the type that they need to invite the elders to beg all the time..........You're on your own O! # 5. You believe in law are witches who should be kept abay; vAs a young lady it was not uncommon to hear my Friends wish or pray their potential inlaws dead. There was & there's still a general believe that inlaws were the undoing of most marriages. Whether it's as a result of what nollywood is showing us or the stories we hear, what I can say is this : if you want to get married, you must be ready to embrace & accept your inlaws. They are an essential part of your to-be husband 's life. # 6. If school or career is your priority: Marriage is an entirely different ball game that will place a lot of demand on you. For your Marriage to work especially as a woman you must be ready to adjust your priorities. Your husband & children must become your Number 1. If your priority is to pursue a career. Then pause those Marriage plans for now because the 2 Don't go hand in hand. # 7. If you can't stop talking about your ex: This is very very very very very annoying. It simply shows that you have not gotten over your ex, you are not ready to move on ,you will always use your ex as a bench mark for your current relationship & of course, you're not a serious person. A lot of factors come into play when it comes to Marriage, and if you exhibit any of these signs or your partner does........ You know what it means. Eyitemi The Home Builder @ Home Builders our goal is to prepare, preserve & build homes. Helping you be the best you're created to be in your relationship. Email : homebuilderssn@gmail.com Twitter: @temmynikan Website: www.eyitemithehomebuilder.blogspot.com Listen to our broadcast : www.soundcloud.com/eyitemi-adebowale FB Group : Home Builders Resource Centre. Telephone : 08167303190