AFTER THE STORM

Dear Friend, SURVIVING THE STORM The word storm in the context of Marriage refers to the challenges or crises that rock marriages.; ranging from infidelity, lack of forgiveness, lack of trust, little or no communication, and everything that can put a strain on the relationship between couples. I have had the privilege of hearing from couples and personally exprienced what it feels like to go through a storm in Marriage. Because these challenges are inevitable, I'll like to share a few ways we can manage & survive the storm as a couple. The first thing to remember when a storm or challenge rises up in your Marriage is that #. DON'T STOP MOVING: While going to work earlier in the week, it began to rain and it was quite heavy.I was already concerned and thoughts of the rain beating me when i alighted from the vehicle made me concerned. Not long after as we moved ahead, we suddenly arrived at a place that was so dry. It was amazing to me & my Friend that this location did not experience any rainfall despite the proxmity in the areas. It was an eye opener for me because while in the rain It did not cross my mind that it could be really dry at the next busstop. My point is this : when the storm comes, " KEEP MOVING ". Don't put your whole life on hold because of the challenge. The longer you stay on a spot, the longer you remain in the rain. Don't stop praying, don't stop communicating, don't stop trying, don't stop loving.......... because ; that takes me to the next point ; #. IT'S A PHASE THAT WILL PASS : Just like every product as a shelf life & expiry dates; challenges are not any different. The key to pulling through when the storm comes is to remember that everything that has a beginning must have an end. Like Steven Covey said in his book "7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE " , we must learn to start with the end in mind. Convetionally when couples go through their rough phases, they attack each other Like it's the end; forgetting that they still have to relate with this person once the storm calms down. When we bear in mind that the storm will pass, we are better guided in our thoughts, words & action. So that we don't leave a scar....... #. PARTNER & DEPEND ON EACH OTHER : Although the challenges in each relationship or marriage differs, One thing that will always see you both through is your ability to work as a team. Imagine a scenario where a team of two (constantly in disagreement) drive through a blizzard and one where a team of two ( working together) drives through the same blizzard. Who has a better chance of making it through? ..... Of course the team of two working together. To survive that drive without a crash, it's not the time to worry about who is at fault, or who put the relationship in this mess; it's a time to see how you can make it out in one piece. The most common mistake couples make in times like this is that they work against each other ; instead of working together against the situation. When there's a storm you need combined effort to pull through. #. ATTITUDE, PERCEPTION, & RESPONSE : These are the major deal breakers or makers. It's not enough to survive the storm ; the important question is "do you survive as an individual or as a couple? Because your attitude, perception or response decides that. Sometimes it might make you feel or look stupid if you choose to maintain the right attitude or manage your response ; what counts is that it's in the best interest of your marriage. #. LEARN A LESSON : Everything you went through will be for nothing if you both failed to learn a lesson. What did that storm teach you both? What would you do differently from now on? As a couple don't ever walk away from those experiences without talking about what it has opened your eyes to. It helps in giving that aspect of your life closure. There are so many other ways to survive a storm ; but I'm positive you can't go wrong with the points above. Finally & most importantly "PRAY ALWAYS". Sometimes all we need is a little wisdom from God, insight from the Holy Spirit & Grace to preserve. We can only get them in the place of prayer. Eyitemi The Home Builder @ Home Builders our goal is to prepare, preserve & build homes. Helping you be the best you're created to be in your relationship. Email : homebuilderssn@gmail.com Twitter: @temmynikan or @homebuilders12 Website: www.eyitemithehomebuilder.blogspot.com Listen to our broadcast : www.soundcloud.com/eyitemi-adebowale FB Group : Home Builders Resource Centre. Telephone : 08151753592