DEALING WITH THE WEEDS IN YOUR MARRIAGE

DEALING WITH THE WEEDS IN YOUR MARRIAGE Last week, I talked about the need to staying awake, being on top of your game and delivering on your role as a wife, mother, companion and most importantly helper. The book of Matthew 13:24-28 shows that while the farmer slept, the enemy planted. Like I emphasized previously, you (the woman) are the farmer, and the farm represents your marriage and your home. Every time you fail to do the needful, you sleep Every time you take your partner for granted, you sleep Every time you fail to forgive your partner, you sleep Every time you declare a cold war in your house and fail to communicate with your partner, you sleep Every time you choose your job, career, or business above your partner, you sleep Every time you choose your family, friends and relative above your partner, you sleep The moment you stop nurturing, paying attention and caring to your farm (marriage), you sleep and the weeds will grow. Having said this, it’s very possible that a number of women have slept, allowed the weeds of infidelity, mistrust, abuse, anger, resentment and lack of communication to grow in their marriages and are at a loss of how to proceed. The most important tool to have if you’re in a situation as this is a good attitude…. As unusual as this may seem, the fact of life is that we are most likely to face and overcome challenges if we approach them with the right attitude….  When the farmer and his workers in the parable discovered the treacherous act of the enemy, he did not put his hand on his head and start running helter skelter; rather when his worker sought to provide rash and immediate solution, he refrained them and asked them to leave the weeds till harvest time because they might hurt the Wheat (good seed) in the process-that’s a clear definition of a good attitude. There have been so many instances where a crisis in a marriage has been worsened by taking rash actions and decision…..the discovery of weeds in your marriage is not an excuse to stop nurturing the farm. If you do, you will end up with no weed or poor quality wheat. Identify the weeds or the problem as the case may be and begin to build bridges. Identify those places where you fell asleep and come alive to your responsibilities…… make your spouse after God the most important person in your life…. Watch the way you talk to him, treat him like a kings even though you feel you feel he doesn’t deserve it, love him even when you don’t feel like it, talk to him even when he is not responding to you; tend to his needs even when he does not seem to appreciate it……. I know this is not the conventional reaction a lot of women are expecting, but I draw reference form Roman 12:2 “ don’t be like the people of this world, but let God change the way you think. Then you will know how to do everything that is good and pleasing to him” (CEV) another version says, “don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think…… then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect” (NLT) Marriage is God’s institution and only the application of godly principles can provide a lasting solution to every challenge you might encounter. The world’s standard is for you to give an eye for an eye, payback, if he hurts you, hurt him back, if he won’t talk to you, don’t talk to him, if he cheats on you, cheat on him too, and so on. Truth is that two wrongs don’t make a right and each time you do these things, you might think you’re pulling out the weeds, but you’re also pulling out the wheat (everything good that is left in your marriage) In the parable, the farmer’s goal was to continue to nurture and wait till harvest time when it will be easy to pick out the weeds without destroying the wheat. Likewise in your marriage, you must nurture and wait and pray. Don’t be rash with your decisions and actions. The presence of weeds is not the end of your marriage. I’ll end with 1peter3:1-2 “In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives” (NLT) “If you’re a wife, you must put your husband first. Even though he opposes our message, you will win him over by what you do. No one else will have to say anything to him because he will see how you honor God and live a pure life” (CEV) That is what the bible means when it says we should not be or think like the people of this world……… don’t give more room to the devil in your marriage or your home by rashly pulling out the weeds, nurture, wait, and pray………….. The rest God will handle. To receive daily updates from our blog, visit www.eyitemithehomebuilder.blogspot.com OR Follow me on twitter @homebuilders012 You can send your questions, enquiry and comments to homebuilders@gmail.com Remember to get your copy of my e-book “A WISE WOMAN BUILDS” for just N1, 000.00 ®HOME BUILDERS INTERNATIONAL (Prepare, Preserve & Build)