A large number of people reading this post are familiar with the traffic colours and their meanings. In school as children, we were told that before crossing the road, we needed to " look left, look right and look left again" and we were equally educated on the traffic lights and what they represent;
Green means GO
Yellow/Amber means Get Ready
Red means STOP
It's amazing how much of these things we know and how little we apply to our daily lives especially our relationships. Relationships like I have always mentioned is a journey and just like road signs are there to keep you on track especially when the routes are unfamiliar, there are signs in your relationship designed to do same. These signs must NEVER be ignored
My focus is on single/unmarried folks this week and the reality of so many marital crises which in my own opinion could have been avoided.
First allow me to re-establish a few facts;
1. The dating/ courtship period is a time to get to know each other better
2. Dating/ courtship does not necessarily guarantee marriage
3. A dating/ courtship period that does not lead to marriage can be termed as successful: while one that leads to marriage might not necessarily be successful
4. Better a broken engagement than a broken marriage
Marriage is one of the few irreversible decisions we make in our lives and this decision must be considered with the utmost depth, realistically through a clear minds eye.
A common mistake amongst a lot of young people is that they spend a large percentage of their dating period satisfying their half-baked Sexual hormonal rush that they loose sight of what's trully important. When this happens, when the ultimate, the big picture is ignored, you become a slave to the immediate, the present.
Dating/Courtship period is a time to critically access your partner to determine if there's a future with this person and what that future might possibly hold. There's nothing wrong with being and feeling in love, but your vigilance should not be compromised.
If there are things you don't like while dating or courting, don't hesitate to talk about them because that is exactly what the period is for. If there are concerns, bring them to light and make sure they are satisfactorily resolved.
Don't allow your desperation get the better part of you while dating so much that you ignore important red flags. A partner who lies to you, cheats on you or treats you poorly is a major red flag and can ultimately turn a deal breaker
Don't stay in relationships where there are so many red flags thinking they would resolve them self or that your partner would suddenly change after getting married. It doesn't work that way and folks who are married can confirm that to you.
Red signs are warning signs designed to give you a reality check and give you a reason to re-evaluate the relationship you're in. Just like these traffic signs would not make sense to those who don't know the rules, if you don't have set boundaries drawn, you would not even know when they are being breached.
What are the things you cannot overlook in marriage? What attitudes, character or behaviors are deal breakers for you. How do you expect to be treated by the man/woman who claims to love you? These and many more need answers to enable you know when and where things are going wrong.
I'm not asking you to look for some perfect man, with green piercing eyes and a body to die for, who has no flaws and whose mission in life is to love and make you happy. You would be far from reality if that is what you are waiting for because there are no men like that in the real world.
At the end of the day, it would be you and your partner living together for the rest of your lives. If there are things you know you cannot live with for the "REST OF YOUR LIFE" address them now or end the relationship while you still can.
Like my husband rightly said, too many people are trapped in wrong relationships because "PREMARITAL SEX" gives them a false sense of commitment. A false need to stay even when everything in their body is screaming RUN
While for others ( ladies especially) , the desperation to get married simply because of their age keeps them trapped in the wrong relationships
Let me tell you clearly and I hope you remember this words when you need them the most; long after the goofy feeling of love is gone and reality sets in on your marriage, all you will have with you is the real person you have committed to and the same desperation you had while you were still dating/courting will most certainly be doubled when things go wrong in marriage and you are desperate for a way out.
There's more to life after "I DO" but so many people fail to see this. Marry right dear friend because your marriage will no doubt shape the rest of your life. It will shape your career, you finances, your dreams and your aspirations. If you marry the right man good for you, life might continue as you know it; but if you marry the wrong man- life as you know is officially over. The choice is yours.
Eyitemi TheHomeBuilder
BBM:2B2D2806
Twitter:@homebuilders012
Blog:www.eyitemithehomebuilder.blogspot.com
Email:homebuilderssn@gmail.com
Instagram: eyitemithehomebuilder
Google +: Eyitemi Adebowale
Green means GO
Yellow/Amber means Get Ready
Red means STOP
It's amazing how much of these things we know and how little we apply to our daily lives especially our relationships. Relationships like I have always mentioned is a journey and just like road signs are there to keep you on track especially when the routes are unfamiliar, there are signs in your relationship designed to do same. These signs must NEVER be ignored
My focus is on single/unmarried folks this week and the reality of so many marital crises which in my own opinion could have been avoided.
First allow me to re-establish a few facts;
1. The dating/ courtship period is a time to get to know each other better
2. Dating/ courtship does not necessarily guarantee marriage
3. A dating/ courtship period that does not lead to marriage can be termed as successful: while one that leads to marriage might not necessarily be successful
4. Better a broken engagement than a broken marriage
Marriage is one of the few irreversible decisions we make in our lives and this decision must be considered with the utmost depth, realistically through a clear minds eye.
A common mistake amongst a lot of young people is that they spend a large percentage of their dating period satisfying their half-baked Sexual hormonal rush that they loose sight of what's trully important. When this happens, when the ultimate, the big picture is ignored, you become a slave to the immediate, the present.
Dating/Courtship period is a time to critically access your partner to determine if there's a future with this person and what that future might possibly hold. There's nothing wrong with being and feeling in love, but your vigilance should not be compromised.
If there are things you don't like while dating or courting, don't hesitate to talk about them because that is exactly what the period is for. If there are concerns, bring them to light and make sure they are satisfactorily resolved.
Don't allow your desperation get the better part of you while dating so much that you ignore important red flags. A partner who lies to you, cheats on you or treats you poorly is a major red flag and can ultimately turn a deal breaker
Don't stay in relationships where there are so many red flags thinking they would resolve them self or that your partner would suddenly change after getting married. It doesn't work that way and folks who are married can confirm that to you.
Red signs are warning signs designed to give you a reality check and give you a reason to re-evaluate the relationship you're in. Just like these traffic signs would not make sense to those who don't know the rules, if you don't have set boundaries drawn, you would not even know when they are being breached.
What are the things you cannot overlook in marriage? What attitudes, character or behaviors are deal breakers for you. How do you expect to be treated by the man/woman who claims to love you? These and many more need answers to enable you know when and where things are going wrong.
I'm not asking you to look for some perfect man, with green piercing eyes and a body to die for, who has no flaws and whose mission in life is to love and make you happy. You would be far from reality if that is what you are waiting for because there are no men like that in the real world.
At the end of the day, it would be you and your partner living together for the rest of your lives. If there are things you know you cannot live with for the "REST OF YOUR LIFE" address them now or end the relationship while you still can.
Like my husband rightly said, too many people are trapped in wrong relationships because "PREMARITAL SEX" gives them a false sense of commitment. A false need to stay even when everything in their body is screaming RUN
While for others ( ladies especially) , the desperation to get married simply because of their age keeps them trapped in the wrong relationships
Let me tell you clearly and I hope you remember this words when you need them the most; long after the goofy feeling of love is gone and reality sets in on your marriage, all you will have with you is the real person you have committed to and the same desperation you had while you were still dating/courting will most certainly be doubled when things go wrong in marriage and you are desperate for a way out.
There's more to life after "I DO" but so many people fail to see this. Marry right dear friend because your marriage will no doubt shape the rest of your life. It will shape your career, you finances, your dreams and your aspirations. If you marry the right man good for you, life might continue as you know it; but if you marry the wrong man- life as you know is officially over. The choice is yours.
Eyitemi TheHomeBuilder
BBM:2B2D2806
Twitter:@homebuilders012
Blog:www.eyitemithehomebuilder.blogspot.com
Email:homebuilderssn@gmail.com
Instagram: eyitemithehomebuilder
Google +: Eyitemi Adebowale
