IT'S WORTH KEEPING

    IT’S WORTH KEEPING     “A cluster of grapes that produces wine is worth keeping………I won’t destroy everyone”(CEV)….                              Psalm 65:8    “The way I see it, if you want RAINBOW; you’ve got put up with the RAIN” Dolly Parton Try this experiment someday. When a situation arises that makes you so mad at your partner, take a moment, pause and think about one or two good/positive things about that spouse of yours. I don’t know about you but each time I tried this method, it makes me less mad or upset about what my spouse has done. An adage in Yoruba says that “simply because the baby is bad, does not mean we should throw the baby away with the bath water”. The reason why the bads and negatives seem so amplified in your relationship/marriage is because you have chosen to focus on them. As a given, marriage is journey with trails and triumph; it’s a school with lessons, experiences and successes. Ask anybody who has been, married long enough and they will tell you that marriage is like fine wine, it gets better over time. For your marriage/ relationship to last and stand over time, the number one thing you need to learn how to do is to FOCUS RIGTHLY & HOLD ON. The scripture referenced above says that a cluster of grapes that keeps producing wine is worth keeping. The key word here is THAT KEEPS PRODUCING WINE. That spouse of yours might have some negative traits I him, but you can’t deny that there is something good in him or about him. Your marriage might not be perfect, but there are still good things about that relationship. The goal like I said is to identify those clusters of grapes that are still producing wine in your relationship and hold on for those reasons. The truth is that there is no birthing without labour; there can be no rainbow without rain & certainly there are no testimonies without trails. I remember a scene in the movie WHY DID I GET MARRIED by Tyler Perry where 2 women were sick and tired of their husbands. They sought the counsel of a friend who gave them a wonderful activity to carry out. The women were given a piece of paper each and asked to list the good thing about their husbands on one side and the negatives on the other side. As they worked on it, they discovered that husband goods outweighed the bad and of course they went back home to make amends Of course, I’m aware that holding on is not the easiest thing to do, neither is it impossible too. Except the situation in your marriage /relationship is one that poses a threat to the life and safety of you and your kids, don’t give up too quickly. What you see, and what you focus on determines your actions ultimately. Take your eyes away from the negatives, look for the good, look for those grapes that are still producing wine, FOCUS on them; it will get you through. Join me next week as we continue to look at reasons why you should hold on to that marriage/ relationship of yours. Eyitemi Adebowale is an author, public speaker and a relationship /marriage coach working with Single Women and Young Wives who are new to the home building process. She is the Founder of HOME BUILDERS INTERNATIONAL whose vision is to build homes one wise woman at a time. She’s also a lifestyle writer for naija parrots. She is happily married to Adesoji Adebowale and they are blessed with a child. For more of our articles visit www.eyitemithehomebuilder.blogspot.com and register your email address to receive our updates in your box For questions, enquiries, or comments, send a mail to homebuilderssn@gmail.com You can also follow on twitter @homebuilders012