INTIMACY PART 1

When I think of the word "intimacy" I remember Gen 2:25 "The man and his wife were naked, but they were not ashamed." Intimacy is a word that is unfortunately not popular in this part of our world and in a whole lot of homes. Just like people in courtship take marriage as the next step, couples once married should strive towards intimacy. Intimacy cements a relationship, making it stronger and long lasting. There are a million & one things  waiting out there to kill or destroy our marriages and our homes @ the slightest opportunity and as much as we will like to pray, God expects us to play our roles. 

An intimate couple is less likely to crumble when challenges arise than a non intimate one.

Intimacy in Marriage if the ultimate Freedom

•   Intimacy is that special bond with your partner that makes you continue even when you don't feel like it.
•   intimacy is that feeling that makes you want to open up to your spouse about everything and anything
•   intimacy is that feeling that makes you think twice before you hurt your partner
•   intimacy is that feeling that makes your day feel incomplete if you haven't spoken to your partner is a day.
•   intimacy is the shield that protect your marriage from that unwanted affair, emotional abuse and betrayal

Intimacy is FAR beyond sex. Its the connection that happens when a million things are communicated without saying a word
Intimacy is the key factor that reassures your partner that I'm here for the long haul, I'm not going anywhere, we'll work it out as long as we stick together. As beautiful and desirable as all I've stated might be, intimacy requires a concious and consistent effort.
Intimacy is an emotional connection with your partner. Its about sharing, not only the good; you must be able to share your fears your insecurities, your dreams, your concerns without fear of judgement.
Think about this for a moment. Imagine how close you will be to your partner if there were no inhibitions. Imagine all the things you could do and talk about if you knew your partner would not use them against you.
Intimacy is the ultimate freedom in your relationship. As human beings by virtue of our experiences we have become guarded and built a wall of defence around ourselves to protect us form getting hurt again. As safe as this may seem, remember that when you build a wall to prevent people from getting across to you, you equally cannot get out. You're trapped. To enjoy intimacy, you must give intimacy; you must know how to get it and how to give it.
Tomorrow we will start the journey on the many ways we can build intimacy.
Eyitemi The Home Builder
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LET YOUR MARRIAGE BE A BLESSING

Everything God created was good

Every institution he established including marriage is equally good. When God made man, he asked them to be fruitful and multiply. Everything God created was to be a blessing and marriage is no exception.

Some people think marriage is simply about they and their spouses. They think its about what both them of can give each other. They have entirely forgotten about the world around them.
We live in a world where so much wrong is happening each day. We live in a world where a little kindness from us each day will make a whole world of difference. Acts 20:35 reminds us that its more blessed to give than to receive. Think for a moment how has your marriage been a blessing to those around you, your family and your friends. We often take things like this for granted because we feel it doesn't matter. For some people the moment they got married, they have brought pain, stress, and worry to those around them. The only time people around them get to hear from them is when they are fighting or have one challenge or the other. That should not be.
If the bible says 1 shall chase a thousand while 2 shall chase ten thousand, it simply means the coming together of you and your spouse creates a powerful synergy. It more blessed to give. It doesn't not have to be money. It could be your time, or your energy...
Whatever it is, find a way each day your marriage can be a blessing to the world around you. I have seem couples who isolated themselves and had the mentality of "me & our children" they were not interested in helping out other, or welcoming people to their homes...what happened... As time went by people began to avoid them, they became lonely in their own world and by the time they realised it, it was late.
Wives be a blessing to your in-laws, husbands appreciate your wives family. Don't push people away! Don't mice what God has given you! Join heads with ur husband, find out what you can do to help someone around you in need
Before you get married, make sure you are dealing with a giver. There are people who have forbidden their spouses from giving. They get angry each time their partner reaches out to help people. Such people hinder the flow of God's blessing in your direction. If he or she cannot give from the little they have even as a single, it wont be any different once married.
Remember that the principle of God works on the "give first before you receive principle..." We have heard stories of barren women whose womb opened up after they took in other people's children. It could be as little as consistently giving another family or a group of people a drive to church every Sunday. Open up your heart to the holy spirit today, let him show you and your spouse how your marriage can be a blessing today!
The most successful homes and marriages today have a track record of being a blessing. Whatever God has given you is not for you and your children alone.
Eyitemi The Home Builder
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TRADITION vs RELIGION

I shared with my precious home building sisters last night a story that Got me thinking
"A man suddenly discovered his wife had been having an affair with the contractor who had been coming to carry out some repairs in the house. Like that was not enough, it was discovered that she was pregnant for the contractor. The Husband after getting over his hurt decides to forgive his wife and they raised ...that child together"
Now I bet that seems like a fairy tale or a plot from a movie, but trust me, this story is as real as it gets. Now the moment I heard this occurred in The United States, It felt more believable. I asked myself "Can an African man be this forgiving?" Surprisingly I realised I knew the answer ; yes he can be this forgiving;but will he forgive? NOT LIKELY!!!
So why is this I began to ponder. What that man did is what is expected of every spirit filled christian, it is what most men will agree to be the right thing to do; but many will not. I've come to realise that there are two things that guide and determines human behaviour and reaction to situation. Tradition and Religion. The entirety of our lives are shaped by this two factors. It affect the way we behave, the perspective from which we view things and ultimately our attitude towards Marriage and our spouse. In Africa, most of what we do is based on Tradition-rules as laid down by men.
A wise man once said, "if you want to know how something works, consult with the manufacturer. He created it, he know how it works, if anything goes wrong, he knows how to fix it. When purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable. That is the problem with our marriages today. We allow a set of rules as designed by man to determine our actions. Its not that I'm condoning the cheating actions of the wife, its wrong on every ground! What I'm saying is that our lives will be so much easier if we don't allow tradition get in the way of our thinking and actions.
A few days ago on face book, someone posted a question asking if a man can wash his wife's undies and there were so many variant reactions. Most of those reactions where based on the premise of what tradition says. "Its not manly to wash your wife's underwear, society will frown @ it, it brings down the leadership of the man as the head of the home" so many comments then I draw to remembrance that Ephesians 5:28 which says "In the same way, husbands should love their wives as they love their own bodies. The man who loves his wife loves himself." Gen 2:24 "So a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one body" what the maker, the creator, the architect of marriage (God) says is that both must become one. What you can do for your self is what you should do for your wife and vice versa. There's a Yoruba adage that says " let's do it the way it should be done, so that it can turn out the way it should turn out" we need to let go of tradition and live each day of our marriage according to Gods standard. Who says a man cannot cook for his wife, who says a woman cannot wake up and wash her husbands car? All this stereotypes are man made, which is why most marriages are not working. Its your home, its your marriage, its your wife/husband, and lastly its your business. If it pleases your God and your spouse, its a done deal! CARRY GO! & make your marriage work. If you decide to go with tradition,I'm sorry to say, your sitting on a LONG THING!
Eyitemi The Home Builder
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VAULT vs BASKET

Ann was constantly thrilled and could not get over the fact that she had married a wonderful man. It had been 3 years and she has no regrets. God had blessed them with a set of twins, her husband had a great job, they had bought a home, they drove choice cars, everything was perfect. Her best friend Ruth was the recipient of all her talks, gist and stories. In fact it seemed as though Ruth was Married to Ann's husband. She knew EVERYTHING! Even the little birthmark on his thigh.
The story of Ann is that of some many Wives out there. As a wife, you are your husbands first line of defense and what happens when that defense becomes porous?
So many women have lost their marriages because they simply could not close their mouths. I watched a movies where a woman complained to her best friend of how her husband was always demanding sex, meanwhile the best friend was getting frustrated because her husband won't touch her. Your guess is as good as mine, of course it became a story of husband snatching and husband snatch!
Watch what you say because the devil is on the look out for homes to destroy. The power of life and death lies in the tongue; its not just about making positive confessions, watch where you talk and how.
Wives, your husband is your treasure, you are the vault. We have the power to protect or expose them, we must apply wisdom @ all times. Be a vault to your husband, not a basket. Some women wonder why their husbands don't share the really important stuffs with them: its because you're a BASKET! You leak, and nobody puts valuables in a basket. You are so open and there's no secret with you. On the other hand, women who are like vaults know things that no one else knows about their husbands. Their husbands go to bed with both eyes closed because they know their investments are safe!
Choose what you will be today! A BASKET or A VAULT!
Join your husband in oneness and make a solid stand together
Eyitemi Adebowale The Home Builder
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